you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
