I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
