We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
