Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
