Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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