Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
