Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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