Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
