It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
