Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think my moral compass just broke
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
