She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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