she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
