So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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