Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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