It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize