nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Less talking, more tequila
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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