so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
