There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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