This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
