Well douche your snatch and let's go!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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