it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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