Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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