I cockslap morals
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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