Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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