GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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