i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
did i walk over a car last night?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
