so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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