miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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