I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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