Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
