I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
