Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
His nipple licking is glorious
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