Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
