shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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