i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
