Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
