Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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