Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She is in my trunk
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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