and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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