Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
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