hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We smell like vodka and hangover
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