he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
