U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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