I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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