I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
