If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize