so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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