dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
