Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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