White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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