return my video game
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
