I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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