But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
