my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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