He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
