you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
