Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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