I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
