Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
