I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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