I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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