I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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