At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
