Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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