My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
