Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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