It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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