Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
