His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
