I think im going to throw up on grandma
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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