We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
